COUNTING THE COSTS AND PARENTHOOD

5/20/2022

This week had some really beautiful moments within the mundane of sickness and routine. From walks along the river to buy groceries with the kids spotting all the flowers, insects, lizards and baby ducks. Spending time making lunch together while the kids “cut” the veggies. Hearing Remi “tell us cool stories” and give us her big smiles when we smile at her. Worshipping under the breezy trees while our kids run around in the yard. 

This week had some deep hitting moments for my heart. There are a lot of things you don’t know when “counting the costs” as much as you try. As I spent time on a call with Liam’s teacher this week, she in very broken English tried to explain how Liams adjusting to school, only to spend the quick 15 minutes sharing concerning and negative things. We live in a culture that “hammers down the nail that sticks out” or “cuts down the flower that stands tall above the rest” with the intention of everyone looking and being the same. My heart feels a bit scared for my son who for them “is different.” He speaks another language, prefers to play alone in the thing that interests him, wants to run free and barefoot, doesn’t color within the lines and spends a portion of his time playing as different characters and in his imagination. These things are scary for others but not for me. Because while it may be different then the majority here, he is still a kid. A kid that loves play. A kid that loves freedom. My boy that is kind, sensitive, encouraging and loving. This week at bedtime he broke down weeping in my arms in a way I’ve never seen before and said “mommy, when you were a little girl did you ever try to leave your classroom when you were angry?” And so we talked about his anger and why it was there and he broke. His perceived anger just sadness and I’m sure confusion on how hard this is. Just a few days before we were talking through school options and Aaron asked him about his current school. At first he was saying he has fun. Aaron then asked what he thought about attending an English speaking school to which he replied, “Oh, an English speaking school? That would definitely be way better.” All of this has been interesting to process. One side of me wants to let him press into the challenge and grow if it’s a safe environment (which I do believe everyone is well meaning and safe there). Another side wants to wrap him up in a blanket and keep him close so he can’t be molded or changed by the pressures, high expectations and shame the culture wants to place on little children here. And the other just reminds myself that “Jesus knows and we can rest in Him when we don’t have the answers because they too will come.” 

This is just apart of the journey I didn’t expect. The costs I didn’t know were there till we are paying it, all the while aware that God is still worthy of it. A cost my children didn’t choose but one God is so aware of and gracious in. So we do what we know to do, surrender more, press in for wisdom, and pray for provisions and favor for where He’s leading. He is a kind God fully aware of every future moment and solution. He is a Holy God worth every sacrifice and hard ship. He is a good good Father ready to parent alongside us. And for that I am thankful. 

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6/6/2022

This last week we pressed into prayer, dreaming for our children and future here, and allowed ourselves to ask God for things we once didn’t have faith for. We stepped out on a limb and toured the international christian school that is only a 5 minute walk from our home. (CAJ) They asked us to apply and we talked through options for Liam. The facility is remarkable and Liam is eager to go. We found out yesterday that our landlords grandfather was once a teacher there. This is an area we are believing God will provide for if it is what He has in store for Liam. It’s roughly $8,500 for his first year of school registration and attendance fees. This school is taught in english by all Christian staff and is grades K-12th. If you feel led to partner with us for this need, we’d love to talk and share more! An area we have been navigating for the last year and a half now feels like an exciting place to dream and see what God will do.

- Sarah McKisic