ELLA'S BIRTH STORY

Ella’s story began at the end of April 2018. I was reading "Keep Your Love On" by Danny Silk early one morning and the end of a particular chapter said, “Ask the Holy Spirit what area in your life you’re being powerless in.” I read that and for some reason immediately thought, "okay I’ll ask that but all He will say is a generic 'you’re being powerless'". When I asked I immediately got a picture of a daisy and felt like He said I was being powerless in the area of pregnancy. I was letting fear and "what ifs" make decisions for me. I looked up the meaning of a daisy and it stands for "new beginnings, motherhood, fertility, and purity". I told Aaron about it and we decided we wanted to start trying and I immediately got my period back the next morning. This was incredible because I was still breastfeeding Liam often and hadn’t had my period since having him. A day or two later I went grocery shopping and picked up a carton of eggs and when I opened it there was a story about a little girl named Daisy. I immediately felt like it would be a girl and knew I wanted to incorporate that into her name. Thus began us trying for baby number two. I was excited because my first fertile time frame was during our anniversary in May and it would've given us a due date around Liam’s birthday making the kids two years apart. A couple of months in, still no pregnancy and an irregular cycle, I began to take maca root powder and using test strips to test for fertility. Sometime in July, I had a dear friend come up to me and say she saw the Lord inviting me to sit at His table and to feast as He was providing all that I could ask or think. To this day I often see Him inviting me to sit at this table. A few weeks later I got my first positive strips. Around the end of July, a wildfire broke out in our city of Redding, CA which led us to evacuate our home on the same day I came down with strep throat. Although it was a very intense few weeks I felt so much peace and thought I was pregnant. I seem to get strep at the beginning of each pregnancy so that gave me a sign of hope amidst the chaos. When we returned home I quickly took a pregnancy test and got positive faint lines. The next 9 months were a bit rough. Exhaustion was at an all-time high. I was often sick and emotional and hanging on by threads of excitement for our baby.

A couple of months into our pregnancy I told Aaron I think I want to have Ella at a local birth center with midwives and do a pool birth. He was a bit confused being we had such a great experience with Liam’s birth at a hospital with an epidural, but he was willing to meet with one of the midwives to discuss what it would look like and ask questions. Walking into the little home downtown, that was used as a birth center, I was certain Aaron would say he wasn't comfortable with it. We toured the home and saw the cozy room and pool where we had the option to have our girl. Thirty minutes later we left with some questions answered, more new questions, and a yes from Aaron. He said he knew this was a desire of mine that he’s heard me talk about often even early on in dating, we knew I had a good labor with Liam with no complications, and we had a small idea of what we were getting ourselves into since it was my second birth. He also said that since we were having a girl and it was our last baby then it would be my last chance to have this dream fulfilled. Shocked, I now had a decision to make. Interestingly his yes brought up hidden fear in me so I didn’t jump on board as fast as I thought I would. The choice was now up to me. After sitting down with Jesus and asking my heart what it was feeling I realized I viewed the hospital as a place of safety and control. Somewhere deep down, I believed that in choosing a hospital I was also choosing a perfect birth within my control and my peace was placed within this lie. I read a post later that day that said something along the lines of, “The enemy is inviting us into control and tells us that it brings peace but Jesus is inviting us into a trust which brings love.” I quickly realized I wasn't in control to begin with, no matter where my birth took place, and that this was an opportunity to trust Jesus and give up my false sense of control. In my time with God, he also gave me a verse that talked about God blessing Sarah with a son named Isaac “Son of Laughter” and making Abraham the father of many. He said he would bless their family and children. I found this so significant and comforting because my name is Sarah AND my last name McKisic means “Son of Laughter”. It felt so close to home and I felt an invitation to trust Him with my birth and children. After this encounter, I gave over my control and gave my yes to having Ella there. 

Fast forward to April because my pregnancy was hard in terms of exhaustion and sickness but very smooth and healthy so there’s not much to say there. With chasing around a toddler the time flew by and spring arrived before we knew it. April was a beautiful month in Redding, CA. The gardens were blooming and daisies were sprouting up everywhere. We took many walks and enjoyed the springtime air with lots of anticipation. On April 8th, 5 days before Ella’s due date, someone messaged me on Instagram saying they woke up from their sleep saying, “In this season I will tell Miss Ella about spring and the goodness of God”. This became something I held close and I began to speak to my belly saying, “Come on out Miss Ella, I want to show you the beauty of spring and tell you about the goodness of God.” 

On April 9th at 8 pm I began to drive myself and everyone a little nutty with my obsession to have the entire house spotless. Instead of beginning Liam’s bedtime, I started to rearrange the entire downstairs area and deep clean everything. I asked Aaron to bear with me as I knew I was being a little crazy and I told him it would be over soon cause I felt like Ella was coming! The next morning I began having consistent contractions and Aaron took off work. We shared a car so I wanted him to be close in case anything happened. We went for many many walks doing a few miles each time and during these walks, I unpacked my mixed emotions about having a second baby. People don't talk often about the conflict in emotions you experience. One moment it’s immense excitement and the next grief over the chapter closing between you and your firstborn. Another moment you feel ready to embrace this new and exciting territory and a few moments later you want to pause time and hold your once baby who is now so grown. I didn’t expect to be experiencing grief in such an exciting time but once I talked about it, I found out almost every mother experiences this. I embraced it fully and cried when I wanted to cry and just soaked up my time with my boy. 

After our last walk at Lema Ranch, I felt the contractions were consistent enough that I got in touch with my midwives and friend who said she’d be my doula. Naomi, my midwife that was on call, had me go home and take a warm bath for 20min. I timed my contractions while relaxing to see if they were slowing down or staying active. I felt they were active and decided to head into the center. Per tradition, we stopped by the local coffee shop for my last cappuccino before baby, this time at Theory Collaborative. Once we arrived she checked to see if I was dilated and I was at about 3cm. She then had us wait a bit so that she could check again and see if I’ve progressed any. This would show if I was in true active labor. I decided to bounce some on the medicine ball and do allllll the lunges (to get her out!). Around 7:30 pm, after 2hrs, she checked again and I hadn’t progressed that much. We were told to head home and do the “midwives cocktail”. I took a specific recipe that would help me sleep if the labor wasn’t the real deal and then only wake up with pain if it was. This would give me time to rest before it truly began. Once we got home we got Liam to sleep and as I held him I allowed myself to weep knowing this was my last time tucking just him in. It was a beautiful moment that felt like closure for that chapter of a family of 3. I took the “cocktail” at 8 pm and went to lay down shortly after. Not to long after 9 pm the contractions were a lot more intense and I felt like I was sweating from the intensity. I figured it should’ve worked by now and felt nothing at all so I gave my doula Rebecca and midwife Naomi a call to let them know I’d like to head back in. I arrived around 9:30 pm and at 9:51 my water broke! We set up the room to be cozy with essential oils that support labor, encouraging music from friends and family that they sent Aaron to play on the google home, and stocked the fridge with all the delicious foods and drinks I brought for us to enjoy during labor! Let’s just say it looked like I was bringing food for a big party! It's important to note that Aaron came through with his humor like he always does and chose the song "Push It" by Salt and Pepper for my labor pump up music. *Insert eye roll* Once my water broke things took off fast and the rest was a rollercoaster!!! My body knew exactly what to do and took over. It felt almost as if I had no control and I had to just trust my body was doing everything well. My blood pressure was dropping a little bit as it does normally throughout pregnancy and labor so I ate some protein to help and they gave me a little bit of oxygen to help with the dizziness. Shortly after this, I went into what they call transition where your hormones change in your body and you enter the next stage of labor. This was one of the most intense parts for me. I won’t go into all the details but let’s just say my body got everything out from both ends at the same time while I was shaking and crying and having intense contractions.... all while my midwife was yelling from the bedroom, “This is so good! Your body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to!” Not sure how long this lasted but it felt like forever. Once that ended Rebecca helped me into the shower and Naomi did some different checks on me and baby. Rebecca showered my body while Aaron let me lean into him for support. My mind and emotions were at a point of having no clue how I could continue. Aaron kept encouraging me that I could do this and that I was doing such a great job. We then decided to move to the pool. I felt a little dizzy so we made the pool a little cooler and Rebecca fanned me with a towel so that I had some air in my face. Aaron got in with me in his bathing suit (which if you know him then you know this was an ultimate act of love!) and he held the barf bucket. Pure romance, right?! I got into the most comfortable position on my knees leaning into Aaron for his steadiness and support. Rebecca locked eyes with me while continuing to fam air into my face and talked me through contractions. She seriously carried me so far and helped me get through labor. (Bec if you’re reading this, thank you endlessly! You are such a pillar of strength and beauty!) Anyways my body continued to run the show as it began pushing on its own accord, my emotions took a back seat and my screaming ... well, it was loud. Ha! Not sure how many pushes later cause it took me a bit to relax and assist my body but maybe 3 or 4 later out came Ella's head! Naomi asked if Aaron wanted to feel it and he did! (We came along way since being offered that when I was birthing Liam haha) Her head being out was such a relief and with one more push and a small tear out came her body. Naomi caught her and then laid her on my chest as Aaron held us both and I cried happy tears!! Three of the most insane hours of my life and she was finally here. Ella Daisy McKisic was born Thursday 4/11/19 at 12:45 am at 8lbs 1oz and 21inches! We all played a game to guess her weight and I was the most off. I was sure she would weigh less than her brother but he was a couple weeks early so she had extra time to chunk up. Ella pretty quickly went to nurse and latched so well. I ate some food after that wild workout, did skin to skin with Ella to bond, Aaron cut the cord after a couple of hours, and then they did some exams on Ella and me before sending us home. Around 4 am we headed home and it was as if Liam knew because he was up waiting for us when we arrived. We had him come into the room to meet his new sissy and she gave him a gift that he LOVED. She got him a Puffin Rock book. The recovery for her birth was incredible. My body felt really good and I didn’t have much pain or dizzy spells. I was healing quickly. The worst was the postpartum cramping that was about as bad as labor contractions for a couple days as my uterus contracted back down to the correct size! We took the next week slow and I let others serve me as I cuddled my new little love. Last time with Liam I prided myself on how quickly I was able to get out of the house and this time it was in how well I rested and let my body heal. A few days after Ella was born Aaron walked into the room saying, “I think we should have two more.” To this day that makes me smile because I know that’s Aaron's way of saying he likes her. (Not sure about the two more kids part though.) The midwives visited our house a few times after the birth within the first couple of weeks to check on baby and I! It was a wonderful experience to be able to rest and heal in my own home. My mother in law became Liams new best friend and they did lots of fun hangouts and activities! My mom came into town from Georgia and blessed us with so many delicious home-cooked meals and our friends lavished us with more food and even more beer haha! (Someone once said it’s good for breast milk supply, thanks to that someone).

Ella’s birth rushed me into new found freedoms and trust in the Lord. I traded him my control and in turn, he gave me the most beautiful gift. Ella means light and beauty. Daisy means purity, motherhood, and new beginnings. McKisic means son of laughter. I feel like Ella Daisy will radiate beauty, light, purity, joy, and motherhood! Her love will change many lives and offer a safe place to those in need. She will walk others into freedom and trust. I can’t wait to watch her life unfold. I know that day of choosing to partner with God to be powerful and embrace love over fear was for good reason. She will be a force to be reckoned with. She will be warm and inviting yet fierce and strong! 

** Ella, for when you read this one day, thanks for taking my hand and leading me into trust and belief in myself and God. You are cherished and one my life’s greatest accomplishments. We love you, sissy!